Two Words…

Two Words…

London Claustrophobia

Yes, it’s that time of year again. The annual tightening of the chest & constriction of the airways. That lurking pain that threatens to break through my chest, that prickly creeping feeling that climbs up the spine & brings on such a headache that no medication can touch. I’ve written about it so often and usually a hop onto the train & stint in the country fixes this ailment.

It’s not just the loud neighbours that smoke all hours of the day, creating a small cloud of fumes in our very own home or the neighbour who insists on cooking his dinner at 10 pm,11pm, 12 pm with loud music or radio 4 podcasts  filtering directly into our bedroom. A minute implosion takes place in my brain as clapping from “Just a Minute” rattles me & jolts the baby , but to close the window cages us further into this wall of heat and heighten this constriction. Just one more evening of this and I’ll put a polite note under the door I say to myself, just one more night of this, just one more night…there’s always one more night.

This heat with a baby means we haven’t ventured onto a train to the country; those rolling hills
& vast open grounds that were laid out for me to trample for endless hours until my calv’s ache and my mind has switched to an entirely different frequenc. I dream of it all.

But what about the sea? To the sea…oh the sea. I remember the sea; azure blue, the glistening & shimmering as if diamonds had fallen into its depths and shone beguilingly at the surface. Where does the sea begin and the sky end?

Wait till I show you the sea Ayla, wait till you feel sand between your toes and the waves lap against your legs. I can hear you laugh now. I can hear it. I can see you and I can feel it all.

                                      Pevensey Bay 2011

Monks House; Virginia Woolf’s Bed 2011

                            The Sea. 
                           2011
I wrote that note to the neighboor.
I post it tomorrow.
Maybe the day after that…the sea.

           

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