The most magical day of our lives. From the second she opened her lungs and set her eyes on us, we gave our souls to her entirely. She is two weeks today and it is as if she has been in our lives for ever, as though nothing exists but her and her needs. Life somehow fell into perspective. The right one. She is an alert baby, when not asleep…actually even when asleep, she knows she’s about to be placed into her cot and awakes ‘what do you think you’re doing?’ she bellows out as she catches us out. It’s hard to pull ones eyes away from her, I write this beside her on the floor as she sleeps in her little rocker, it’s been a struggle to find a moment to write this, I’ve tried a thousand times. Family members visit and spend hours in silence just staring at her in bewilderment. I don’t blame them, the husband and I do the same.
|An hour or so old|
The first thing I noticed when she was handed to me was not her full head of hair but her large open eyes that stared back into mine, although I know hers hadn’t focused yet, mine were fixed on the little soul who had been everywhere with me for the last nine months. I stared back at Mr C in amazement- I couldn’t believe it, I really couldn’t believe it. She was finally here and she was a she just as he had predicted all along. My heart filled with the most intense love I’ve ever experienced. In the next few days, I thought of my own parents, and all the angst a teenager gives and felt sorry immediately for any pain I had ever caused them. I finally understood. This is life. As this new love entered our hearts, so did fear and the need to protect her from all that life will throw at her. (I now write this with one hand as the other holds a sleeping baby- who has drifted back to sleep listening to Leonard Cohen) I’m saddened by what I may not be able to protect her from but I will do my damnedest.
There’s so much more I want to write and I’m sure I will, but for now, I have a very special person in need of being stared at. I’ll be back. I don’t know when, but soon I’m sure …
This year is already very different from the last. New adventures await the Cranmer & Mustafa clan. It’s as if life has just begun.
|The flat is filled with the heavy scent of flowers|
|After her first bath which she actually liked. We used the Tummy Tub|
|one of my faves so far!|