Today feels like a Sylvia Plath day, I can’t say why it does, it’s just one of those things. Sometimes it’s best to accept it and move along! Just as I do with Virginia Woolf, here is a little extract from The Journals of Sylvia Plath 1950-1962 edited by Karen V. Kukil. I scanned the pages quickly and fell upon this which strangely enough resonates with the pinnacle stages any piece of work and the decisions I have come to recently- life can be awfully eerie like that at times;
July 6, 1953- The time has come, my pretty maiden, to stop running away from yourself, trying to keep on the merrygoround whirlwind of activity that goes so fast you haven’t time to think too much for too long. Today you made a fatal decision- not to go to Harvard Summer school. And you vacillated like a nervous seesaw- gulped, chose blindly- and immediately wanted to reverse a decision which is speeding into a finality now already on the wings of mails, minds, and secretarial files. You are an inconsistent and very frightened hypocrite: you wanted time to think, to find out about yourself, your ability to write, and now that you have it:practically 3 months of godawful time, you are paralyzed, shocked, thrown into nausea, a stasis. You are plunged so deep in your own private little whirlpool of negativism that you can’t do more than force yourself into a rote where the simplest actions become forbidding and enormous….
It’s all to easy to have those moments of wallowing, but it’s important to acknowledge them and continue. And on that note. I have writing to do