I am sitting here on a Saturday morning in my glass house study, a conservatory which will keep me heated and partially blind until 1 pm-ish when the sun moves ever so slightly across the way. The sun is in full blast but the heavy grey clouds infiltrating the larger white ones, choose to tell another story.
As the breeze blows through, over my large pepper & tomato plant as well as the other herbs that I share the space with, I recall the joy of this solitary space, it is me, the singing birds, the wind moving through the trees and the knowledge that I will write today.
Writing has been terribly slow lately, possibly due to the impending wedding, having to sift and muddle through numerous plans and make sure everything turns out right, but I suspect the dry spell is for another reason. I believe, as another very kind and giving author had told me during my hard time that I was probably percolating, and cooking ideas, and she was right.
My many solitary moments were spent, I thought blankly, but my brain was in fact aligning itself with the creative star out there which looks on upon us, guiding us and reminding us that it’s going to be okay. I found myself the other day missing my bus stop as I had been writing in my head, something that I hadn’t done in a long time. I felt anger for missing my bus for a miniscule moment, but as I strode off the bus and began to make the long walk back. I smiled. I smiled because I had been writing, I couldn’t help but feel, “I’m back.”
And so, I shall desperately try not to lose hope again and remember my friend’s words I continue to read my Bolano and other works, as reading is THE most essential sustenance that a writer, that anyone, needs, without reading, all may be lost!
So, now I shall write before the flat is awake and moving, and before too much life bursts in.
Good luck, write well, neigh just write, and have faith.